Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
