i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
