I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
