it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize