I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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