you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm sobbing to NWA
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
