I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
