I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just invented taco cereal.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
