i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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