Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
