how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She swung at the pinata with crutches
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize
