I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize