I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
