she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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