I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
