He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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