She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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