well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
