bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
