his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize