Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
