A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
