New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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