I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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