i was born a porn star she said
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
