On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
