So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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