Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
