You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
