I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
i've created a new STD.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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