you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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