Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
