btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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