nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
