Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
