why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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