i would punch a child for taco bell
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
