Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize