Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
