I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
