dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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