puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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