She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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