Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
