Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize