Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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