I'm laying in your front yard are you home
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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