Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
