That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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