I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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