There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
