think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
