I love black thongs
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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