We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
