You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We named our party play list daddy issues
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
