Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
