Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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