I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
smell my finger.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
