this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
