I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
