no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I would fuck him just for his dog
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
