Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
