Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
