hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
