as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
