you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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