Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Randomize
